


Smash

by riversthecalifornicana



Series: The Smash Series [1]
Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: California kids, F/M, asleep in the bread aisle, stoners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-04 03:00:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 15,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16338554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riversthecalifornicana/pseuds/riversthecalifornicana
Summary: Howzit, everyone! This is Rivers and Sayori and this is our story.Nothing too much... surfer dude who smokes weed and half-Filipino, half-Japanese girl who everyone knows is super nice and totally got over her depression because she told everyone so...Yeah, there’s fun stuff in here, like smoking weed in the bread aisle, Panda Express with a videogame character, and, of course, us! Maybe we’ll beat the shit out of Monika, one of the club members who’s a complete bitch and I think is trying to get with Rivers.Also, Nat’s gonna take us on a road trip to Washington. Wonder why...So come out and play:P~Sayori and RiversSouthlake HighSeal Beach, CAUm... just saying, between you and me, if you’re not down to read stuff with heavy drug references and people smoking weed, or a bit.. of... you know....sexy things, or if you really care about Monika that much, then please... tell your brain to shut the fuck up and read it.~Rivers





	1. Smash

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy!<3
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ~sayori and rivers.

Smash

Southlake High School. Also known as the shittiest high school in the entire damn city of Seal Beach, California. I wake up to the morning, the sun blinding me, shining directly into my eyes, forcing me to get up and start the day.  
I found out the other day some retard put my book on Fanfiction.net and I was pissed as hell! There was some personal shit in there that only me and Sayori should know about, but who gives a fuck now? I guess I should at least introduce myself.  
I’m Rivers and this is MY story. I mean after Stardust (if you guys ask for it I’ll post a link), when Monika was seething pissed that her ex Evan left her for Natsuki. It didn’t matter to me, I’m with Sayori. I think Monika’s really pissed. I saw her leave school with balled up fists, like she was just gonna fuck somebody up.  
Also, did you guys know there are two Southlake High Schools in America? Yeah, one’s mine, in Seal Beach, where I have my best friends, a vending machine, and the best girlfriend someone could ask for.  
“Aww, thanks!” Sayori sweetly says as she pecks my cheek, “Gonna head to school?”  
“I have to address the book first.” I respond.  
“Well, you’re doing a shitty job. Remember, Yuri told us “no fourth wall brea-Oops! Gotta go, love you!” and she runs off.  
I catch up and we walk together. But on route I see this weird devil-looking thing.  
The first thing that comes out of Sayori’s mouth is, “Bendy!”  
Then she runs over to it and hugs it.  
“Who’s this?” I ask her.  
“I’m Bendy.” the little devil thing says.  
“We knew each other before I moved to Seal Beach, when I lived in Fullerton.” Sayori explained.  
You see, we met when we were seven, when she moved here from Fullerton, a city by Downey and Compton, and I moved here from Rosarito, a city in Mexico. When I moved here, I didn’t know any English and nobody wanted to be my friend. Except her, except her.  
“Dude, let’s ditch school and just catch up!” Sayori suggested.  
Bendy was all for it, and so was I, I fucking hate school.  
We turn around to go back home and I finish addressing this book. Then we hop in my car.  
“Any ideas where to eat?” I ask everyone.  
Bendy doesn’t say shit, and it’s pure silence for the next fifteen seconds.  
Then Sayori chimes in.  
“Panda Express!”  
Sayori LOVES Panda Express, and it’s not just because she’s half-Japanese (if you’re wondering, the other half is Filipino). Bendy doesn’t complain, and I’m down with Panda Express too.  
There’s no Panda Express in Seal Beach, so we have to drive all the way to Cal State Long Beach (which is actually in Garden Grove) to find one. Thank God I know Orange County really well.  
We got out into the parking lot and went inside. Sayori and Bendy were catching up.  
“So did you finally get with Alice?” she asked him.  
“I did! Around 2 years ago...”  
He told us his story. Him, his homie Boris the wolf and his girl Alice the angel, escaped from Joey Drew and made it to Seal Beach. I guess the Ink Machine was just too much, so these three dudes broke out of the studio right before the ink machine exploded and made it to Seal Beach. Their creator, Joey Drew, was pretty much enslaving these little animation thingies, so they just booked it with the little cash they had. It was a whole bad thing involving evil machines, evil Bendy look-alikes and even the City of Fullerton.  
“You can crash at my place if you want...” Sayori offered.  
He accepted. We got up and ordered our food.  
At least me and Sayori did.  
“You gonna get some food? I’ll pay for it.” I offered.  
“Nah, I brought my own,” he replies, and he pulls out some bacon soup and chows on it. I laugh so hard, but he looks at me with a dirty look, and I immediately shut my mouth.  
“Sorry, dude!” I apologize.  
He cheers up.  
“It’s fine!”  
Sayori orders what she always gets, the orange chicken and egg rolls with white rice. I order white rice and the beef, since that’s the only thing I trust. We pay for it and get the sodas.  
One thing about me and Sayori: we’re both pretty much addicted to sugar. It just happened. So we got our drinks and sat down with Bendy to eat.  
He pulled out another can of soup, but then he stopped himself.  
“This one’s for Alice.” he told himself.  
“What about Boris?” Sayori asked.  
“Dude, he’s the king of finding food. He’s probably robbin’ the hood as we speak.” Bendy responded.  
I was eating, but for a quick second I looked up at Sayori, and she was looking at me.  
And she had this look.  
I know this look from the seven months I’ve dated her.  
The look pretty much says, “Meet me outside because shit’s about to go down and you’re gonna like it.”  
She silently mouthed the words, “don’t let him notice”. Then she went up and went to the bathroom.  
Both of the bathrooms were labeled as “all-gender bathrooms.”  
So I got up to go too, but when Bendy wasn’t noticing, I snuck into the same bathroom Sayori went into.  
This next part I’m gonna slap a big as hell warning next to it: so if you’re tweaking for it that hard, fine.  
She kissed me, like, super hard.  
Then she sat me down.  
And like we did a few times before, we, uh, did it in the bathroom stall.  
When I went in, I sat her on the toilet, and I went kinda slow. Then I went faster.  
She was being hella loud.  
“Keep it down, or they’re gonna notice!” I tell her.  
She quiets down a bit and I keep pushing.  
“Rivers... I’m gonna...” Sayori stutters.  
I pull out and I run to the next stall, where I shoot up, um... my liquid snow. I come back and Sayori is still panting naked on the toilet. She was super fucking wet, but she dressed and washed her hands. She kissed me on the cheek and met back with Bendy, and I followed her.  
“You guys were gone for a hot minute! What you do?” he asked me.  
We looked at each other, and I gave her the ‘cover for me, I’m dying here’ look.  
“Panda Express really messes you up internally so...”  
“Ok, I know you guys were fucking in there, but I’m gonna let it slide...” Bendy interrupted.  
“How did you-“ I started asking  
“Me and Alice did that a couple of times...”  
I was bewildered and kinda weirded out. This guy has a dick?  
Then his girl walked in, almost on cue. She wore a black dress and had a halo.  
She kissed Bendy and we talked for a bit more, about life, Sayori and them catching up on Fullerton.  
But then this white boy came in. He looked like my best friend Evan, who’s dating Nat right now, but he wasn’t Evan. He looked angry. He went to order his food. But when he paid, I got nervous.  
It looked like he was going to pull out a shotgun.  
I braced for the shot.  
But he just pulled out his wallet and paid the food.  
We left soon after and I went to the Literature Club with Sayori, Bendy, and the angel chick.  
We made it right on time and we all shared our poems.  
Sayori, Literature Club president, was pissed at Monika that when that horrid twisted game Doki Doki Literature Club! happened, she switched Sayori’s self-proclaimed “magnum opus” (whatever the hell that means) with her suicide note that she never took to school. After we all broke the game and saved Yuri’s boyfriend and this girl from a death camp in Minnesota, I read Americana and it was pretty good. She used just the right words to convey a message of strong hate for the American lifestyle and being raised in an all-American city, aka Fullerton. She told me she picked the name from the only album I play that she likes: Americana by the Offspring, one of my favorites. She also told me she had two other names for this poem: I Can’t, or Ixnay on the Hombre (which I thought was the best name), but I digress.  
I brought mine. Here’s how it went.

Candy Land

I was chilling with some nachos.  
And Blink-182 on the stereo.  
Us three hunky-dorys sat watching the TV.  
But we all saw different things.  
The girl in pink could see the rainbows.  
The girl in blue could only see the emotions behind every character and scene.  
I only heard Blink-182.  
Why? Because you, because you, because you.  
So fuck off, homie.

That second to last line threw some shade at Nat. We’re still cool with each other, we just throw shade like that just see the others reaction.  
Nat noticed.  
“Hey! I don’t listen to emo music!” Nat scolded at me, jokingly.  
Sayori shared Americana for the first time.  
Yuri shared a weird poem.  
I don’t want to read it, mostly because it’s half ripped-off from an Eminem song, and its about overdosing on methadone. Yuri had a heroin problem since they didn’t properly take her off the morphine when she was in the hospital for almost dying due to blood loss (she cut herself 90 percent to death). So she went to the shady parts of Long Beach to shoot up. I feel for her, I had drug problems too (if you want to know, leave a comment on my book and I’ll explain). She finally agreed for us to help her with recovery, and she hasn’t done any drugs in a month, so we got her a cake the other day.  
Then we just talked. Bendy and Alice enjoyed reading manga with Natsuki and Evan.  
Everyone was just talking and talking and eating the cupcakes and soda Nat brought, and we downed them happily.  
Except Monika.  
We discussed literature and poetry and how to make it better.  
Except Monika.  
We explained the usefulness of manga as literature.  
Yuri and Natsuki almost had a fistfight.  
If it wasn’t for Literature Club president Sayori and Yuri’s boyfriend, shit would’ve gone down.  
Originally, when we saved Yuri’s boyfriend, Conrado, from that hell camp on the Wabasha River, when we came back, and after I gave him a burrito to try, Sayori wanted me to be vice president. I declined, since I feel embarrassed when everybody looks to me for advice. I don’t wanna be doing Rivers’ Writing Tip of The Day, because the only thing I’d have to say is, “Make skate punk references.”. So, my first and only vice-presidently act was to switch vice president power over to Natsuki. She was more experienced and the only other club member beside Sayori that’s my friend (Yuri and I agreed to just be acquainted).  
We all just enjoyed our time at the Club.  
Except Monika.  
Monika was standing in the corner, watching all of us. She was salty about two things: when the game derailed, she.. uh.. faked that Sayori cheated on me to make me take her virginity (and I still beat myself up over that up until today), and I was so upset when Sayori found out (it was a virtual reality), and Evan left her for Nat.  
So I’ll let you.. dear, reader-  
“Rivers!” Sayori scolded, “Yuri SPECIFICALLY said ‘No fourth wall breaks’”  
“You know you just broke the fourth wall by saying I broke the fourth wall, right?” I retort, giggling.  
She stands there confused, but I laugh. 

Then Yuri does the weirdest thing.  
She pulls out a bottle of Mexican wine.  
“Anybody thirsty?” she asks.  
Sayori starts flipping out at her, but I intervene.  
“Can I have some?” I ask.  
Sayori gives me a look like “Whats your problem?”.  
“Remember that time the whole Literature Club went to Mexico and we all drank beer?” I asked her. It was after my life went south, so south, in fact, I tried committing suicide in Rosarito. It was all bad.  
“Yeah, what about it?” she responds.  
“It’s the same thing!” I assure her as I snatch the wine from Yuri, “Let’s crack a bottle!”  
And Monika closed the doors and the blinds so no other clubs can see us.  
I grab some teacups that Yuri stashes where her knife collection went. I pour some and chug it.  
Natsuki grabbed it and we all just drank it.  
Out of all of us, Monika and Nat got the most drunk. I got pretty wasted, but I got a surf competition to go to tomorrow, so I can’t get too smashed.  
The turning point kinda came when I played my favorite kind of music, skate thrash. Sayori hates it, but I like it. And while Monika and Nat was actually the most wasted from the wine, it was actually Sayori that became the most smashed, because she started vibing to the skate thrash that she hates.  
“Hey, let’s all go to the supermarket!” Sayori slurred.  
“Yeah, we should!” I responded, in a drowsy tone.  
So we all left to the market.  
“Except you, Monika. Fuck you.” Sayori added in a drunken voice.


	2. New Thrash

Monika just stood there while Sayori and friends went to the supermarket.  
And Rivers. Fucking Rivers. She stood there confused. How could someone as good-looking as Rivers choose Sayori, the ratchet depression queen who doesn’t have that many friends, over Monika, the club president who everyone liked? So was the thinking of Monika.  
Monika is a bit of a weeb and a gamer. Not as big as Nat, who has a fairly good Youtube gaming channel, but still. She’d been getting into this game called Yandere Simulator.

Yandere Simulator is a game where a high school girl kills people for her crush. This got Monika’s wheels turning, as the memes surrounding her usually deal with the fact that, she too, is a yandere. In fact, Ayano Aishi moved to Seal Beach a while ago and Monika and her are good friends. Not best friends, just good friends. She called up Yan-chan?  
“Hey, where are you?” Monika asked.  
“I’m by 5th and Ocean, where are you?” Ayano replied on the phone.  
“The high school. Wanna meet up?” Monika asked.  
Yan-chan agreed. 5th and Ocean is about half a mile away from Southlake, which is on 1st and Central, so in a few minutes Yan-chan was here.  
Then they got down to business.

“How can I get Rivers to see me?” Monika asked.  
“Well, if I were you, I would drive his girl to the desert and kill her.” Yan-chan replied, “but you’re not me.”  
“I would gladly kill them in the videogame,” Monika continued, “but I can’t kill them in real life!”  
“Well, I have two friends in Coast High in Huntington Beach,” Yan-chan explained, “...they’re known there as “the Hunters”, and they’ll jump anybody... for a fee.”  
Monika contemplated this for a second.  
First, the cons. Sayori was a friend. She treated her so nice, how could she do this to her.  
But Rivers.  
All for Rivers.  
“How much?” Monika asked.  
Soon enough, they placed a call to the Hunters.  
“Because your with Yanchan, we’ll give you the hook-up, 60 dollars for the jump,”  
They split the money and met with them outside Coast High.  
They gave them the money and set the date.  
Monika remembered that the Club was going to the waterpark on Saturday.

“Saturday.” Monika told the Hunters.”

“4:20 pm. The waterpark in Long Beach.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the only third person story we’re writing, and sorry for the short chapter, its just a meanwhile filler chapter!
> 
> Sayori<3


	3. Come As You Are/Asleep in the Bread Aisle/Doki Doki Lit Club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FAT ASS HELL WARNING FOR DRUG USE!!

I’m hella nice right now, like, I feel good.  
So, if you have a drink, would you please put in the air?  
Don’t feel like you have to do it now... take your time!

 

But me and the Club, except for Monika, went to the supermarket. We were a bit hungry, even though I already ate, so we went inside. Rivers went immediately to the aisle and stood in front of the Mountain Dew stand.  
“Can you get me one, please? I got robbed on my way here.” he asked me.  
“How? We all walked together!” I responded.  
“I stopped at the surf shop, but I got robbed by this Mexican guy with a knife.” he explained.  
“Rivers, you ARE a Mexican guy with a knife!” Nat intervened.  
Then he showed me his wallet.  
“Nah, I’m just messing with you!” he giggled as he grabbed at least 25 bottles of Mountain Dew Code Red, Voltage, and Baja Blast (and not the crap kind you find at Taco Bell) and put it in the cart. Then he grabbed some bread from the bread aisle and a boatload of candy. He spent at least 100 dollars on it.

 

Then, in his semi-drunken haze, he snuck into the bread aisle. I followed him.  
Conrado and Natsuki also followed him.  
Bendy came in and followed us.  
He looked around and pulled out some weed and started rolling a blunt. Rivers and I have smoked weed a few times before, so I have nothing against it. I heard Conrado smokes weed on a normal basis. Rivers tells me he smokes Argentine crack, but I don’t think thats true. Anyway, we sneak out a few loaves of bread and sneak to the storage room.  
We hide in one of the rooms.  
Then we eat some bread and get high as fuck.  
Yuri never smoked weed before and she was puking.  
She ate some bread and felt better.  
I think Rivers and I got the most stoned. We pretty much ate all the bread.

But then the employee catches us.  
He was this young white boy, maybe a few years older than me, with my kind of haircut.  
“Hey, I’m just saying, you might want to go before my bitch manager comes...” this guy said.  
In my stoned state, I said, “Nah, come chill with us!”  
I think this guy liked me, because he sat down.  
“I never have done this before...” he tells me.  
Then he inhales it and coughs.  
“Oof... dang!”  
He takes a couple of hits then passes it to Natsuki, who gladly takes it.  
She’s already hella stoned.

 

Then she collapses.  
I walk over to her.  
“Nat, are you okay?” I say as I slap her face.  
There’s no response. Rivers knows CPR, so he does it and Nat coughs up some smoke.  
“How do you know that?” Yuri asked him.  
“I either want to be a surfer or a guitarist in a skate thrash band... and you need to know CPR for both of them.” he responded.  
Nat passes the blunt to Bendy, who takes the last hit before it’s all burned out.  
We’re too stoned to move, but the bitchy manager shows up, and we all do our best to book it.  
But you see, a couple of drunk and stoned high school kids can only make such a good escape from a Vons.  
We accudently open the fire escape door, and the fire station is down the block. We book it out into the street, and we make it back to the high school just as the fire fighters roll in.  
“Guys, I have a crazier idea!” I said in my stoned state, “Let’s spend the night in the club room!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if its a short chapter, I’m still coming down off that high!
> 
> <3Sayori


	4. As A Friend/That Party Last Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW FOR WEIRD COLLEGE GAMES, and also drugs...
> 
> -Rivers... i’m still high:0

As A Friend/That Party Last Night

We all head home to grab stuff for the night party. I grab a queen-sized air mattress, a blanket, and my surfboard for tomorrow. I remember I tried teaching Sayori to surf once. She likes it, but she doesn’t do it that often.

I grab those Mountain Dews from the Vons and stuff it into a basket. Then I drive to school.  
It was a challenge sneaking past the guards, but Nat left a back window open for us. We lock the club room door and close the blinds. The whole crew, which consists of Sayori, Natsuki, Evan, Yuri, Conrado, and me.  
Yuri and the gang wanted to watch a movie, but I went to the club supply room and watched Youtube videos of people rage quit on Fortnite by myself.  
Then I pulled out my pencil and wrote a poem.

But before that I noticed a dropped piece of paper with writing on it. I picked it up and read it. It was Monika’s handwriting.

Killshot/I Don’t Have A Gun

I check through her blinds that sunny morning.  
She’s still asleep.  
The bottles that surround her are all smashed, shattered into a thousand pieces.  
I knock on her door.  
Come out and play!  
I’ve got a fun thing we can all do today.

We’re the squad, field of dreams.  
We’re on each other’s team.  
But she, she shattered mine like a bottle of beer.  
So I grab her throat and smash her against a palm tree.  
I grab the bleach, the bleach pours straight from my heart.  
All for you, all for you,  
I love you, so if you intervene, I’ll kill you too.

But he won’t see.  
So I grab a bucket.  
And a few hours later I ask him to paint the forest.

But she probably would’ve killed herself, wouldn’t she?  
Any girl that puts on a happy face like a Genki girl secretly wants to hang.  
All for you, all for you.

I shudder at the morbidity of the poem. Natsuki popped her head through the door.   
“Whatcha doing?” she asked.  
“Reading this poem.” I responded.  
She sat down next to me and read it. She was in utter shock.  
“This is definitely Monika’s handwriting.”  
It’s almost 7:00 and the sun starts to go down.  
“Can you help me figure out what this poem means?” I ask her.  
“Sure, you probably need it anyway...” she replies.  
I bite down the urge to say something really hurtful that involved her abusive father and just got on with it.  
So, first of all the title.  
“This girl obviously has a problem with somebody... Killshot? She definitely has some homicidal tendencies. Just who?”  
“I see quite a few hidden references...” I add, “since the girl who’s sleeping is surrounded by shattered bottles...God, I’m high...”  
“Wait... bottles? BOTTLES!” Natsuki asks.  
“It’s about Sayori!” I add, “but why?”  
“All for you, all for you.” Natsuki replied.  
Oh.. no. I’m scared.  
I inflate the air mattress and invite Sayori to cuddle and watch Netflix (cause I’m a softie like that), so we do that for a bit and then play some games with the squad.  
“What games should we play?” Sayori asked.  
“Um... maybe.. maybe some cards...” Yuri timidly said.  
“Strip Fortnite!” Evan blurted. Yuri seemed very grossed out by that idea, but me and Natsuki were down. It seemed like Conrado and Sayori were okay with it too.  
We held a vote.  
“So who wants to play cards?” Yuri asked. Yuri and Conrado raised their hands.  
“And who wants to play... um... strip Fortnite... eww..” Yuri asked.  
Evan, Natsuki, and I raised our hands at first, then Sayori raised her hand.  
“Let’s do this!” Evan announced. And after all of us took turns changing in the supply room, we met back in the main classroom and played.  
But then we heard footsteps. Then a flashlight, so we turned off the lights and hid.  
Then he went away.  
It was completely dark and about 9 pm. Yuri snuck a second bottle of wine.  
Then Conrado pulled out his crack for a second.  
JUST KIDDING!  
Conrado is a good person and he doesn’t smoke crack.   
I made that up to trick Sayori.   
He does smoke weed, and he pulled out his bit of weed and made a blunt, which we took turns smoking. Then we got to Fortnite.  
Okay, so the rules of the game were as follows: We would be playing Fortnite duos, and for every kill a person gets, he or she can make the other player take one piece of clothing off.  
I learned it in an Asher Roth music video, a song called “I Love College”, and it’s one of my all-time favorite music, Asher Roth is pretty fly (*cough cough* for a white guy...*cough cough*). It’s basically a rip off of strip beer pong.  
But you see, when you throw couples into the mix, it derails. Most people in a relationship aren’t really cool with seeing other dude’s girls naked. However, we were all so drunk and high that we didn’t care.  
“It’s just natural, bro!” Evan told me.

 

Okay, because this is a school, Evan snuck out and brought his nice TV in his room to school and his PS4 with Fortnite and two controllers. Then he hooked the system up and we played.  
First was Natsuki and Evan. Evan is the man at Fortnite, but he met his match real quick. Natsuki was pretty well known on Twitch for being a Fortnite legend in California. That means not Ninja good, but good to have 45 Victory Royales to her name.   
“Haha, I bet I’m gonna get everything off!” Evan boasted.  
“Nah, fuck that! I’ll kick your ass at this game!” Natsuki retorted.  
The game ended with both of them topless, Natsuki without her pants, and Evan without his shorts.   
“Stop looking, weirdo!” Natsuki scolded.  
Evan just cracked up.  
After a bit of peer pressure and two glasses of wine, we got Yuri and Conrado to play.  
They both sucked at Fortnite, so they both died without getting anything off.  
“Oh, thank God...” Yuri muttered.  
Conrado yelled, “Hey, I want a rematch!”  
But then all eyes were on me and Sayori.  
Sayori and I are okay at Fortnite. We both have been playing since season 4, and we both have around 10 or 15 Victory Royales to our name.  
But that’s not the problem.   
The problem is that we’re both hella self-conscious about our own bodies.  
Especially us being naked.  
“Hey, at least we’re doing this together, right?” Sayori said, trying to keep a happy face.  
“I guess,” I said, despondently.  
We sat down and played.  
I got one kill.  
I really didn’t want to do this to Sayori.  
“Um... shoe...”  
I got another kill.  
“Other shoe....”  
But then Sayori killed two people by Dusty Divot.  
“Shit...” I cringe.  
“Both your shoes.” Sayori chuckles, quietly.  
But then I got a kill,  
“Do you just want to call this off?” I asked her.  
“Um... yeah...” she responded.  
Through much backlash from my friends, me and Sayori left. We spent the rest of the night away from the group, cuddling on the air mattress, watching movies and tweaking on candy and soda. I think we fell asleep.   
The last thing I remember that night is a faint voice,  
“We’re going out back.”


	5. Super Special Waterpark Day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ABOUT TIME I COME DOWN OFF THAT HIGH!  
> anyways, have fun:P
> 
> -sayori again

I woke up a voice saying, “We’re going out back.”  
I wanted to wake up Rivers to help me, but he looked too peaceful to wake up.  
The voice grabbed my hand and pulled me out to one of the back hallways.  
“You like Weezer, right?” the voice I recognized as Monika’s asked.  
“Yeah, why?”  
“Cause the world’s gonna turn and leave you here!” Monika responded.  
I wondered what she meant, but when she punched me in the face and knocked me to the ground, I understood.  
I shook my head and socked her in the nose.  
“Oh, that’s how you wanna play? Okay!” she boasted. Then she punched me repeatedly.  
There was a point I was too hurt to fight. She then stomped me in the face and left me in a pool of my blood and tears.  
The pain was too great. I passed out. The last thing I saw was the crack of dawn.

When I awoke, the whole club was surrounding me.  
Except Rivers.  
“Where’s Rivers?” I ask weakly.  
Then I heard noises in the distance.  
It sounds like punching.  
That eases me.  
“Fucking whore! I’ll kill you, bitch!” Rivers yelled as I heard Monika’s screams. It’s just a book, just a book.  
The pain in my head is unbearable, but I can stand.  
“Nothing’s broken, at the very least. Just my self-esteem...” I tell them.  
They all laugh, so I laugh along. But I was being serious. It made me feel sad.

 

Today’s waterpark day, so I drive home and take half an aspirin for my headache. Then I grab my pool toys.  
Evan and Rivers... um... borrowed one of those vans with AC that fits 12 people, so we each have our own space. Then I changed into my blue bathing suit and filled my backpack with as much snacks as I possibly could.  
Rivers seemed a bit sad.  
“What’s wrong?” I ask him.  
“I’m fine...” obviously lying.  
“You’re not fine. What’s up?” I respond.  
“I was... just too busy fighting Monika and I missed the surf competition...”  
He was dying to go to that surf competition.  
“Well, there’s always that one in Rosarito next week.”  
His face immediately brightened up at the word, “Rosarito”,  
He brought his surfboard still because the Long Beach waterpark has this big wave pool that makes big waves, and he wants to surf it.  
Can’t say I don’t wanna at least try either... but he was so pumped.  
“I need to eat all this candy so I’ll have enough energy for surfing!”  
Then he raided my bag when I wasn’t looking and ate half my snacks.  
I was so pissed, but he was laughing so loud.  
He super promised to buy snacks for me in Long Beach, so I calmed down, for now.  
Monika, bruised and having one black eye, still came, but was sulking in the back seat, at least, until Rivers kicked her out and told Evan to floor it.  
I just kicked back and listened to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. They’re pretty good! And they’re local music, and you got to support local artists.  
Conrado and Rivers were smoking weed in the back seat while Yuri looked pissed.  
“What?” Conrado asked, “..it’s not drugs or anything...”  
Yuri couldn’t really say anything, because she tried cocaine off a knife once.  
This morning I heard Conrado took Rivers over to the bad parts of Garden Grove to go buy some weed. Rivers bought about 20 dollars worth and smoked some of it. Then he drank soda and went to sleep.  
Rivers was holding his favorite toy: a little yellow rubber duck with a little heart on it.  
That’s another thing I find cool about Rivers: he has a childish side. His mom bought that duck for him when they left from Mexico to here.   
“Where is his mom?” you might ask. You don’t wanna know.  
He named it “Pablo el Patito”... whatever the hell that means.  
I watch the trees as we pass Cal State onto the 5 North, where my least favorite sight I see.  
You see, Southside Long Beach is one of the dirtiest cities not just in California, but the country.  
The south side is this big industrial zone, big ports and big factories billowing smoke. I have to hold a towel over my nose.  
Eventually we pass it and get to the residential part of Long Beach, where the waterpark is  
Yuri, the responsible one, told us to get our tickets ready. So we did and got in.

Today is the only day parking is not hell.  
It’s Monday, so we all ditched to come here.  
We parked it and went inside.  
We were supposed to all stick together, but as soon as we got in, Rivers was gone.  
Then I hear “Hell yeah!” coming from the wave pool.  
When I find him, he’s surfing this wave.  
It’s not as majestic as the ocean, since he has to dodge people, and the nose of his board is really sharp.  
Eventually, he becomes the only one in the wave pool, since everyone left in order to not get stabbed by an 18-year-old’s board.  
He gets out for a second and tells Yuri he made tea for her.  
She tries it.  
“What herb does it use?” she asked.  
“Oh, I just mixed Mountain Dew and water and boiled it.”  
She spits it out and throws it out. He laughs so hard as he begs the guy to turn the wave function up so he can surf harder.  
He surfs for a bit more, then takes his surfboard and puts it in the van.

The waterpark was fun! There were a ton of rides, and Natsuki and Yuri had a fistfight.  
Natsuki won, leaving Yuri crying on the floor. I helped her up and got her water. She drank it happily. But then something happened.  
Two people, a guy and a girl came up to me.  
“Holy shi-“ I started until they punched me in the face.  
But luckily I was awake. Rivers saw and wanted to fight too.  
So we both did.  
They were the Hunters, the guys who jump anybody for money from Huntington.  
But who sent them?  
As I kicked this second-year girl’s ass, I see someone in the distance.  
She has long brown hair, a black eye, and is in a swimsuit, and she’s laughing and watching me.  
She’s Monika.  
I kick the girl’s ass and she limps away.  
I tell Rivers to stop fighting the other guy, he’s already trying to tap out.  
(If you don’t fight, tapping out is tapping the floor repeatedly to signify someone to stop beating the shit out of you, you give up.)  
He just won’t stop. Normally, it’s really bad form to not let someone tap out, but because he had an intention to hurt him, he kept beating him.  
Then, after he’s bloodied, he drags him to the corner and pisses on him.  
I just laugh. But then I realized?  
“Where the hell is my bow?” I ask out loud.  
My red bow is my favorite thing. I’m really confused, and I don’t wanna lose it. I’m hyperventilating as I try to look for my bow.  
“Oh, yeah, I put it in the car so it won’t get wet...” I say, reminiscently.  
“What? You had us all freaking out for that?” Rivers asks jokingly.  
Then he goes on this waterslide. It’s the biggest one in the park, that’s about 30 feet tall and really long. But then the big dummy slides in belly first, even though the guy repeatedly suggested otherwise. Luckily, he knew him, so we didn’t get kicked out. But you see, when the waterslide is over, you fall into water.  
He slid down and he slid in so fast and fell from 3 feet, so he bellyflopped.  
“Ow, ow ow...” he howled.  
I just sat there and laughed, but then I told him it’s fine, I’ve bellyflopped a hell of a lot of times.  
But then I hear something.  
“Over there, officer.” the voice tells him. The voice I register as Monika’s, again, and the cop starts yelling at us.  
The cop almost makes Rivers drop his Jumbo Black Cherry slushie on the ground, and he lets the cop know... very loudly.   
And then he hotstepped it by slapping the cop.  
The cop pulls out his handcuffs and cheeses it to the car.   
We all follow and get in.   
The cop runs to his car, but we slip away just as he turns on his car.  
We make a few turns to lose him, but eventually we return to Seal Beach.  
We stop at a Mexican restaurant and get some food. I ordered the carne asada burrito with the soda, since I’m addicted to sugar, but Rivers polishes off his slushie and gets his drink out of the car.  
Then after that, we all return the car and go home.  
Me and Rivers are next door neighbors, so I wave goodbye to him as I enter the door.


	6. Come Out and Play

I remember Monika gave me a 10-minute Python tutorial when we got back from that hell camp. From there, I spent a few weeks studying it. Then I got better. Then when I taught Sayori, we started making games together. We realized we could all just have our personalities in an AI, so we just made a ton of games. We made a racing game, a game for *just the two of us*, then we made my favorite game. It was a mix between Fortnite and Yandere Simulator. And it takes place at that weird school in Japan.  
So today I went home and fucked around with the code. Then I called up Sayori and gave her the signal.  
“You gotta keep them seperated.”  
That basically means, we’re loading into the game.  
Then I clicked Control, Alt, and Delete.

I felt a tingling.  
Then it felt like someone shot me.

The next thing I felt, the theme music was playing. But instead of the Doki Doki Literature Club theme, it was a version of “Sir Psycho Sexy” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, which is the single biggest turn-on song known to humanity. Trust me, it worked for me and Sayori.  
I willed the Start Game button to click. And I was in the waiting room.  
It was the game club room, with a chalkboard, desks, and my friends.  
There were 7 people.  
Here’s the player list.

Monika.chr  
Monika Jackson.  
Age 18  
Race: 50% Korean, 50% white.  
Birthtown: Mission Viejo, CA

Yuri.chr  
Yuri Kiyabaia  
Age 18.  
Race: 25% Canadian, 75% Japanese.  
Birthtown: Kyushu, Japan

Sayori.chr  
Sayori Delarosa  
Age 18.  
Race: 50% Japanese, 50% Filipino.  
========<3=======================  
Birthtown: Fullerton, CA

Evan.chr  
Evan Carter  
Age 17  
Race: 100% white.  
Birthtown: Scottsdale, Arizona

Natsuki.chr  
Natsuki Lokman  
Age 17  
Race: 100% Malaysian.  
Birthtown: Sarawak, Malaysia.

Conrado.chr  
Conrado.  
Age...  
Race: Argentine.  
Birthdown: I dunno, my best guess is Córdoba.

Rivers.chr  
Rivers Sanchez.  
Age: 18  
Race: 100% Mexican, bro.  
Hometown: the one, the only, Rosarito, Baja California Mexico, about 20 kilometers south of the border on the Carretera 1D.

 

We could all talk to each other, but Monika was pissed.  
“What the hell was that for?” she asked.  
We all agreed that if you want to leave the game, you should just kill yourself in-game.  
I remember that’s why Sayori hung herself, because she wanted to be real.  
Yuri learned that after she died, but she stabbed herself because she loved knives.  
And Monika... just... nevermind.  
So Monika grabbed a pistol and shot herself. Luckily, you don’t feel any pain when you die.  
But she kept reviving.  
“I fucked around with the code so you can’t die in the waiting room until we all load out... makes it more funner!” I say with a mischievous smile on my face.  
“I agree.” Natsuki responds.  
Everyone else except Evan and Yuri agree.  
And the game starts.  
We all see the options: solos, duos, buddy duos, and 6 versus 1.  
“6 versus one... what the fu-“ Monika tried to intervene.  
But I clicked the 6 versus one button, and we all voted who to go against.  
3 out of 7 chose Monika.  
2 out of 7 chose Sayori.  
1 out of 7 chose me.  
“The fuc-“ I said.  
But it started.  
And it was just us.  
Monika was nowhere to be seen.  
Like she should.  
Let the game begin.

 

——————————————————————————————————  
I woke up on the other side of the school. I can see my health bar, which is 100, but I got no shield. I have to eat food to up my shield power. So I looked for food and a weapon and I found it.  
Some apples and a Yuri-grade knife.  
Then I realized this is Yuri’s homeroom and this was her knife.  
Eww... but I use it anyway. And it’s only now until I realize everyone’s against me.  
“Fuuuuck....”  
Then I hear footsteps.  
I hide behind the door.  
I see Evan, my ex-boyfriend, looking for stuff. He has a baseball bat.  
I stab him five times from behind. It feels good.  
He dies and disappears back to the waiting room.  
I hear more footsteps, but I sneak into a corner, where Yuri’s getting water.  
But then I thought that you couldn’t beat a knaifu with a knife. But I tried anyway.  
I stabbed her in the head, which is a one-hit kill.  
But then the heads-up display goes haywire for a second, and the music changed, from “Fack” by Eminem (seriously, listen to this song. It shouldn’t exist) to a really distorted, Sayori-hanging-like version of one of Sayori’s favorite songs, “You” by Radiohead.  
Then the message changed.  
“Sayori got the shotgun!”  
Then I hear a blast down the hall, then I feel nothing at all.  
Sayori walks to me and grabs the knife from me.  
“And now the part we didn’t tell you.”  
Which gets me stabbed directly in the face.  
——————————————————————————————————  
I drag her to the fake school’s basement, and the rest follow me. We all have our item of choice.  
Mine’s a laptop. Sayori’s is a noose. Yuri gets the cool knife. Conrado gets... nothing and so does Evan.  
Natsuki gets a cupcake.  
“How does that work?” I ask her.  
“It has Vicodin and PCP mixed in it. My dad used to do it. One time I was so depressed I stole some and did it under a bridge. It’s pretty much the closest you can get to death without actually dying.” Natsuki explained.

Yuri started, by teasing her and cutting her lightly on the arms.  
I just wanted to delete Monika, but they said to do that last.  
Then Evan became salty and...  
So he, um... dateraped her.  
She was screaming and crying.  
“I gotta go.”  
The truth is, seeing that was giving me panic attacks.  
Let’s look at my intake form last time I was in the hospital. Let’s see, today is October 28... Aha! Here it is.

Santa Carla Mental Institution  
Garden Grove, CA  
December 13, 2017, 3:30 AM

Reason: attempted suicide by strangulation.

Sanchez, Rivers Emiliano  
Height: 5’ 3”  
Weight: 101 lbs  
Birthdate: December 13, 1999  
Birthplace: Rosarito, Baja California, Mexico  
Address: 2129 Parkview Lane, Garden Grove, CA 92843.

Diagnosed: Major Depressive Disorder, Major Suicidal Tendencies, Hypomania, Panic Disorder

Residence: Room 19, Wing C  
Treatment: Daily Dose of Citalopram (Cipramil), Paroxetine (Sereupin), Quetiapine (Seroquel)

Improvement: None whatsoever

Actions throughout day: Cry, eat, sleep.

Concerns: only snorts pills given to him, assaults staff when provoked, has escaped or brought other person into the building, plays excessive amounts of skate punk, Green Day, and Blink-182.

Rivers was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Hypomania with a possibility of Bipolar, and Panic Disorder. He has been scheduled for biweekly visits to a psychiatrist, but rarely, if ever goes. He has been prescribed three medications: two antidepressants and one antipsychotic. He is at risk for developing psychosis.

————————————————————————————————————-  
IF SEEN ATTEMPTING SELF-HARM, SUICIDE, OR ESCAPE, STOP IT IMMEDIATELY.  
—————————————————————————————————————

Yeah, and with my friends, I’ve been recovering.  
But still, it made me panic. I started hyperventilating.  
“STOOOOP!” I wheezed loudly.  
Evan pulled out and busted a nut.  
“Don’t do this..if that bitch wants to like me, fine. I don’t like her, and I never will.”  
Then I hid in a room and cried. I hate Monika, but I don’t want her to get dateraped, especially by my best friend.  
But I put a function in the game that when you exit, you forget the game.  
So I did that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luckily Evan will remember none of this.  
> -rivers


	7. Conrado Gets Us Banned From Mexico (100% not clickbait chapter)

Conrado smokes a lot of pot. We all know it. So they were a bit hesitant when on Friday, I said, “Let’s all go to Mexico!”  
“How?” Nat asked him.  
“Well, my grandma lives in Rosarito, and she’s super nice, and she makes good pozole blanco...”  
“But, like, how are we gonna stop El Meme-o pretty boy over there from smoking weed?” Yuri asked.  
“Hey, dude!” I said to Conrado.  
He was on dankmemes.com and monikamemes.com, which is actually a page dedicated to memes about our Monika.  
“Do you want to get the shit beaten out of you?” I asked him.  
“No, but I could sure as hell beat the shit out of you, gringo, so don’t push too far.”  
I was about to say, “You dick, you’re the one who moved to Minnesota and dated a Japanese girl, that’s the ultimate gringo move! Fuck you, pendejo, no Mexico for you.”  
I bet you’re thinking, “Wait, but isn’t Sayori Japane-“  
NO! She’s half-Filipino, and that makes it okay.  
I just said, “Fuck you, you wanna go to Mexico or not?”  
“I wanna go.” he responded.  
“Then don’t take weed.”  
He was bitching about how he needs weed and shit.  
“Dude, my grandma isn’t down with that shit, so put it away!” I yelled.  
We reached a compromise: he can take it with him, but he can’t smoke it in my grandma’s house, and if we get caught, we’re throwing him under the bus.  
He agreed.  
Then we all agreed and met at six.

 

We still had another week on that van, so we took it to Rosarito.  
Sayori was so happy, bouncing around and looking everywhere, and we were still in San Diego.  
Soon enough, we waiting at the last American exit, the Camino De La Plaza exit. Then we crossed after half an hour of waiting.  
The line was hell.  
But we got through and we reached the billboard at the start of the carretera, Spanish for freeway.  
Rosarito is a beach city off the 1D, so we ventured another 20 kilometers. I already called my grandma, and she was cool with us coming, and she made pozole and rice.  
“Hell yeah!” I shouted.  
She only speaks Spanish, which works nicely for me and Conrado, not so much for the others. I have to translate for all of them.

Nat couldn’t come, but luckily we had a Literature Club group chat.

(lakes_and_rivers) Sorry you couldnt come:/

(nat1999) whatevers, i’m eating a burrito

(sayitaintso) Yumm, we’re eating pozole, one of the best foods ever.

(monika_jackson) I couldn’t come either...

(lakes_and_rivers) look, monika, i’m gonna be straight with you...

(monika_jackson) wtf are you talking about?

(sayitaintso) A few of the club members...

(monika_jackson) Say it, Sayori.

(nat1999) want you out. And i’m one of them.

(monika_jackson) Why though?

(lakes_and_rivers) You’re just not good for the club. You’re mean, manipulative, and I should’ve kicked you out sooner. Consider this your final notice of release from the DDLC.

(monika_jackson was banned from the chat)

(sayitaintso) what the hell was that?

(nat1999) wdym 

(sayitaintso) i was supposed to give the final notice, well, anyways, it worked.

(lakes_and_rivers) now we’re down to six.

(sayitaintso) oof. well lets watch a movie! miss you nat!

(nat1999) bye guys.

(lakes_and_rivers) alright deuces!

I cringe at my username, “lakes_and_rivers”, ugh. Sayori actually likes her username, it’s named after one of her favorite songs.  
Well, there’s not much to say. We eat our pozole and my grandma let us watch a movie in Spanish.  
Then we all fell asleep.

 

The next day we... Nah, fuck it. I’m sleepy, Sayori’s sleepy.  
We’ll do it next chaptehynunsunnsnannnemslkakeiws728q’sjshh


	8. Natsuki’s Very Own Chapter

So I woke up and I felt a bit sad. I couldn’t go to Rosarito, because I was sick. I remember Chris Rock on one of his stand-up pieces I watched yesterday, he said, “If you’re with your girl, all you should be doing is fucking and going places. Coming and going.”  
I spent 3 minutes dying on the floor laughing.  
Me and Evan don’t fuck that much, maybe twice, total.  
I love watching stand-up comedy, so I watch a lot of it this morning, but eventually I text Evan.

Here’s the text:

(nat1999) heyy

(dopeboyevan) whats up

(nat1999) i still feel fucking sick

(dopeboyevan) just take a vicodin splash and go to sleep

(nat1999) wtf seriously tho XD, my body’s hurting

(dopeboyevan) i dunno, pray or something?

(nat1999) yeah youre no help, bye:)

So I just started playing Fortnite on my PS4, maybe I can practice for the tournament in Walla Walla, Washington.  
I got one Victory Royale, and then I started checking my Facebook.  
All of the Literature Club except Rivers has a Facebook. But Rivers has a Snapchat and Instagram, so I don’t really care.  
Everything seems normal, people post pictures of themselves, making themselves seem like they have better lives than they really do.  
But then one article someone posted and tagged me in caught my eye.  
It was Monika who sent me this link.  
I open it and it takes me to the San Francisco Chronicle.  
The headline read, “Man, 48, escapes from San Quentin Correctional Facility”  
Whoever this man is, I hope he’s not a rapist or a murderer. I keep reading on.  
“This man was convicted of 19 counts of child abuse, and he was sentenced to 100 years in prison.”  
I start to bite down on my lip. This man reminds me of my father, who did abuse me. I feel for his kids.  
“The man was last seen last night at 9:22 P.M. and is believed to have swam out into the San Francisco Bay. He is wanted in Marin County.”  
Just Marin County? Both this guy and this county are dumbasses. How does a serial abuser escape the state’s toughest prison only to only be wanted in the county? He’s probably out of the county by now! This makes me feel enraged, but I read on.  
“The prisoner has been identified as Yokana Lokman, a man from the Orange County area. Marin County police are working with Sonoma County, Napa County, Solano County, and San Francisco County police to apprehend this escapee.”  
And I immediately drop my phone and cry. I don’t really cry, because when I used to cry, I got the shit beaten out of me. By my dad.  
Who’s coming for me.

I panic.  
I do have my birthday in a few days, and the gaming competition in Walla Walla in two weeks.  
I pull out my phone and write something to Evan.

(nat1999) dude you gotta come.

(dopeboyevan) why?

(nat1999) my dad escaped. he’s making his way to the OC (Orange County). we need to run away.

(dopeboyevan) like just the two of us? like that eminem song?

(nat1999) no... cuz i’m not gonna kill my mother, i wanna bring my homies..

(dopeboyevan) just rivers and sayori... why?

(nat1999) dude... i think they’re depressed. 

(dopeboyevan) how? sayoris legit the happiest person I know, and rivers is the loudest and most flamboyant... and second shortest:P, but i know rivers best, he was my best friend since age 9.

(nat1999) first of all, fuck you and second of all, dude people use that as a mask to hide away, havent you read the poems rivers wrote? like “stop whispering” or “the world has turned and left me here” or “blowout”?

(dopeboyevan) and...

(nat1999) fine, bring the entire l.c. we’re leaving the day after my birthday.

(dopeboyevan) hell yeah! my birthday is last month, so after that we can fuck again!

(nat1999) yeah, whatever. let them know. love you<3

(dopeboyevan) alright love you too bae, bye!

I never told my mom about Walla Walla. I live with my mom, who’s super cool and nice. She promised never to hurt me physically. But I still remember what happened.

Ok, so here’s the Natsuki life story:

So I was born in a town called Serawak, in Malaysia. I remember Malaysia, and I moved to America when I was three. Back then, my dad was the sweetest dad ever. I remember he would buy me ice cream after we ate nasi lemak, a Malaysian rice dish. So when we moved to America, I thought we would still be a happy family. Just the three of us, just the three of us.  
It all changed at age 5. Supposedly, he hella abused my mom, and she walked out. He decided that me, a shrimpy toddler with a short stature and natural brown hair, was perfect to take his anger out on.  
I remember the time I asked him to make me cereal.  
I got the shit slapped out of me. Then he cried and begged my forgiveness, still threatening me if I ever told anyone.  
The cycle worsened. His friend introduced him to angel dust, aka PCP, a drug that makes people trip out and act extremely angry.  
Then when I was 10, I became a drug addict for three years. I would raid my dad’s prescription pill stash, my all-time favorites being Vicodin, Ambien CR, and Robitussin cough syrup. I had a friend, a girl named Sam. We were so tight, and she had all the drug hookups. One day, she planned on suicide overdosing, she gave me her prized CD player, her collection of Eminem CDs, and a gram of pure DXM (which is a drug you find in Robitussin, but this was pure powder. I got so high). Anyhow, I listened to them, and I loved them. While other shunned the violent lyrics, I vibed and related to them. When he rapped about killing his father and mother, raping, and other bad stuff, I connected with it. My favorite was Relapse. This was the album when he was addicted to pills and he rapped about it. There was a song called Insane, my favorite.

“I was born with a dick to my brain, yeah, fucked in the head, my stepfather said that I sucked in the bed, till one night he snuck in and said, “We’re going out back, I want my dick sucked in the shed.”

My dad threatened to rape me if I told anyone. Later he said I was too ugly to rape and that hurt just as bad. But after a few Ambiens, some DXM and Relapse in my headphones, it didn’t matter.

When I was 12, I took some DXM one night. Then I stole some Kool-Aid powder, some peroxide and some water and mixed it the three together. When my dad was sleeping, I went to the bathroom and dyed my hair pink.  
I promised myself I’d be beautiful one day. Even if right now I was, according to my dad, a filthy slut.  
I stole some cute clothes from this shop. Nice black and white striped stockings with a black button up shirt and blue skirt.  
That was my favorite. I felt so confident in those.  
I actually had quite a few boyfriends in junior high. And, between us, if a handjob counts as fucking, well, I lost my virginity when I was 12.  
After 14, I swore off boys until Evan. And that was when I got brain damage.  
October 29, 2014.  
At around eight, I was walking to get some water and my dad pistol whipped me in the head thirteen times with his nine-millimeter. I bled out and had to go to the hospital.  
I started failing every test, and I didn’t care. Until 16.  
When I got off drugs.  
When I met Evan. We went out. I poured my heart to him.  
He understood, and we called the police at Evan’s house. And at 6:23 AM on April 29, 2017, he was charged with 19 counts of child abuse and sentenced to 100 years. I got to live with my mom, who’s super nice and awesome.  
And I met the Literature Club that year. And then, sometime in late 2017, this dude named Dan asked us if he can make a videogame about our club. I was excited, but it sucked. Sayori was shown as a depressed bitch, I was such a dick, and according to Rivers, “he wished his character fucking died.”  
So we kindly asked him to delete it. He didn’t.

I sit in my room, packing a bag.  
I have a savings account. I have a good 4 grand in there.  
I’m gonna need it for Walla Walla.


	9. American Idiot/Blurryface

I came back from Rosarito scared. Natsuki’s dad making his way to here, so we gotta go. I gotta take my little sister, because I can’t just leave her. I took my car, a small Honda CR-X, and met up with Natsuki at the park.  
Everybody was 18, so we legally didn’t have to go to school.  
Sayori and Natsuki changed their number.  
Clementine, my little sister, was confused.  
“What’s happening?” she asked.  
I sat next to her on a bench.  
“Look, when you’re older and you can understand, I’ll explain everything. For now, though, let’s say Nat’s dad was real, real bad, and we need to go away.” I responded, cupping my hand in hers.  
“But the house!” she asked, sadly.  
“It’ll still be there. I promise.”  
I got her Burger King, which she actually likes (eww.) and we all met at the public park.  
Yuri, Natsuki, Sayori, Evan, Conrado and me and my sister are going to Walla Walla.  
We have three cars: Mine, Evan’s, and Yuri’s.  
We agreed that I would go with my sister and Sayori, Evan would go with Nat, Conrado would meet up with Yuri.  
Oof, I hope Yuri and Conrado don’t get frisky past Ventura.  
We went to eat at this pancake restaurant, and I got pancakes and Red Bull. It’s like cocaine (which Yuri described to me in great detail), and I start sweating. I keep drinking because it’s gonna be a long night.  
I’m gonna be perfectly honest with you.. Sayori and Evan are better with kids then I am. Sayori, specifically. She’s known Clem ever since she was born, so they trust each other. Those three went to play videogames at the arcade across the street for a bit. I gave my sister a few bucks.   
Nat, Yuri, Conrado and I were talking about how to do this. Nat had this idea to just go as far as you can and hope for the best.   
“No... that won’t work. We gotta plan our goals each day.” I told them.  
“Why?”  
“So we don’t blow ourselves out.”  
“Fine.”  
So we need to get to Palmdale, about one hundred miles north of us. We decided to just take the 5 to the 14, and crash at Evan’s aunt’s place in Palmdale.   
Then we shared memories from our school time together.  
“When I was 16, everyone called me Blurryface.” Natsuki told us, “it was because I always had migraines, and I was always bruised in the face.”  
“How come?” Yuri asked.  
“I told them I got into fistfights at the pier.” Natsuki responded.  
“Was that it?” I asked.  
“Um.. no... my dad would beat me every other damn weekend. He said he would shoot me then take a gun and shoot every kid in my school just like Columbine if I told the truth. He was always high on angel dust and I was used to it.”  
“Damn...” I said in a melancholic tone.  
“I remember when I got brain damage, they asked me “Did your dad beat you? We can assure you if he did he’ll be sent to hang”, and I was like “Nah, I was walking with my boyfriend and I fell off the pier.”  
Her story was so dark: she was a drug addict, her dad beat her when he took angel dust, he pistol-whipped her. Kinda like my story, but deeper.  
Until Evan convinced her to call the cops. Natsuki would’ve rather shot him and painted the forest, but they called the cops.  
And Evan and Sayori was how Nat met me. And her dad got sent to the toughest prison in California. Until now, he escaped.  
We dine and dash because we’re poor. We get in the car, and Clem is passed out by the time we get on the freeway.   
She looks so angelically peaceful when she’s sleeping, and soon both Sayori and her are asleep.

I guess I have nothing to talk about, so I’ll share my story:

I was born in Rosarito. That’s obvious. We were poor, but we had food in our mouths, and we had each other. My sister was born 11 years after me, by then we moved to Seal Beach.  
In Mexico, being poor still meant we had enough.  
In America, the opposite was true. Some days we just couldn’t eat anything.  
We couldn’t even afford healthcare, and my dad died when I was 12. My mom couldn’t do anything, we were broke. She took the 2000 dollars she saved and bought me this Honda CR-X. Then she drove off the bridge off the Highway 91 between Corona and San Bernandino.   
She killed herself.   
And left me alone.  
She gave me all the money she had.  
I wanted to join her so bad, but I couldn’t.  
I had to pretty much be a dad for Clementine, she never knew her own father.  
So I put on a happy face. I only confided in Evan and Sayori, who were my best friends for life. So they were only people I told the truth about what I do to.  
I sell drugs to make money. It’s pretty good too. Natsuki joined me on the operation, and we sell drugs about two hours away in San Bernandino.  
Before we left, Yuri and Conrado chickened out and didn’t want to go. So they’re gone.  
We’re eventually gonna make it to Walla Walla. There I can sell weed because Washington people smoke a lot of pot, even more than Argentine-turned-Cuban-turned-Minnesotan-turned-Cali boy Conrado did. I text Nat.

(lakes_and_rivers) hey, lets go to sb.

(nat1999) san bernandino? what for?

(lakes_and_rivers) i know a place we can stay, i don’t wanna put too much on evan. just follow me!

(nat1999) fine.

(sayitaintso) we’re road trippin, woohoo! i got my road trippin mixtape on river’s radio.

(nat1999) just send me the address.

Sayori gave me the puppy eyes she mastered and she knows I can’t resist. So I played it for her. And I like half of the music, here’s the list.

1\. Road Trippin’ - Red Hot Chili Peppers - Like  
2\. Boyfriend - Justin Bieber - Hate  
3\. Same Old Love - Selena Gomez - Hate  
4\. The Kids Aren’t Alright - The Offspring - Love  
5\. Don’t Cry - Lil Wayne and XXXTENTACION (rest in paradise, my ese) - Love  
6\. My Name Is - Eminem - Like  
7\. Look at Me! - XXXTENTACION - Like  
8\. Hit Me Baby One More Time - Britney Spears - Hate  
9\. Say It Ain’t So - Weezer - Like

Yeah, just to compare our musical tastes, here’s my playlist on Spotify, and whether Sayori likes it or not.

1\. El Scorcho - Weezer - Whatevers  
2\. The World Has Turned And Left Me Here - Weezer - Love  
3\. Self Esteem (personal favorite) - The Offspring - Hate  
4\. Come Out and Play - The Offspring - Hate  
5\. Fack - Eminem - Despises  
6\. Blow Out - Radiohead - Likes  
7\. Basket Case - Green Day - Can live with  
8\. Freeway Time in LA County Jail - Sublime - Doesn’t like  
9\. Rap Devil - Machine Gun Kelly - Loves  
10\. Killshot (my second personal favorite) - Eminem - Absolutely hates

So I play her tape, and by Don’t Cry she’s asleep, I can’t put on my CD around Clem (especially number 5, give it a listen on YouTube), because it’s not exactly appropriate.

Evan pats me on the shoulder from the backseat.  
“It’s gonna be alright, buddy.”

“Yeah.” I respond. “Definitely.”


	10. STP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bimey Moo Molly or other, if you wanna have a book war with me, then hit me up. Otherwise, keep my name out of your mouth and we can keep it the same.
> 
> ~Natsuki “Blurryface” Lokman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  lol jk i’m in hesperia
> 
> ~also natsuki lokman

There’s this freeway called the 91. It goes from westside Los Angeles all the way to Riverside. It’s a gigantic freeway, but me and the freeway has some bad history to it. And it scares me.

That’s why I hate driving on the 91. Especially the part between Corona and Riverside, where it turns into the 215.  
I begged Nat to let us take a different way.

(lakes_and_rivers) can we take the 60 please?

(nat1999) nah, dude, the 91 is way faster.

(sayitaintso) come on nat, have a heart:/

(nat1999) wdym

(sayitaintso) his mom killed herself on the 91

But she was right. The Highway 91 is faster. So I bit down and took the off-ramp to the 91. The 91 is a big freeway, like, 50 miles or so. So for 25 miles I feel fine.

(nat1999) look, rivers im sorry for being so insensitive.. we can take the 60 if you want

(lakes_and_rivers) fuck it, i’m already on the 91

(nat1999) dude wtf, i was ready to change it for you>:(

But then I saw the sign for Corona.

“Rivers...” Evan asked, “you fine, dude?”  
I didn’t even realize it, but I was hyperventilating. I felt a fear that just wouldn’t go away.   
Then I saw the bridge.  
The bridge that Maria Sanchez drove off in an apparent suicide attempt.   
She succeeded.  
I pulled the car over and just cried. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I didn’t want to drive and cry, cause I don’t wanna hurt anybody. So I just pulled over and sat down.  
Evan got out and sat next to me.  
He patted me on the back and comforted me.  
“I understand, man, it’s gotta be hard, dude...” he told me, soothingly.  
Sayori gave me a hug. She was with me the day I found out my mom died. So was Evan.  
Clem was still asleep, thank God.  
I bawled for a bit more, but I summoned up my courage and hauled our asses to Riverside. From there, it’s a ten minute drive up the local freeway, the Interstate 215, to our destination.   
A place me and Natsuki rented about a year ago. We haven’t told anybody about it, except Evan and Sayori. We all call it the STP: our Secret Tweaker Pad.  
If you’re asking, no, we don’t like each other.  
But remember how we make money?  
Well, sometimes we spend days in San Bernandino, and we bring everybody along, however I take Clem to Mexico so my grandma can take care of her.

So we arrive, and we all go in.  
The STP is well, a tweaker pad.  
Here’s what the dictionary defines tweaker pad:

tweaker pad: a house, normally used by drug addicts, that is far substandard.

So an extremely crappy house.  
We had stuff in here that I would never even tell Sayori and Evan, so I hid them. But those two know I can’t lie, so it’ll probably come out sooner or later.  
I grab the air mattresses we have and blow it up. Nat brought her laptop, and since the biggest luxury this house has is WiFi, we watch Netflix. That new Making a Murderer series is legit. But we need to get to at least Bakersfield, which is over 125 miles away. So I make sure everyone goes to sleep.

Except me.  
I sneak out when I make sure everyone’s asleep.  
I grab the bags of self-made weed and heroin and I leave.

All my good customers are in Rialto or Hesperia, but Hesperia’s a good half an hour away, and Rialto has a lot of police at this hour.  
By then I realize I can’t do this alone. Hesperia can get pretty ghetto, and me and Natsuki have had to fight people who were trying to jack us. That’s why she’s got a switchblade and I keep a Filipino butterfly knife (and not the legal fake ones, no sirree,) on me at all times. I know how to wield that thing.  
So I hit up Natsuki.

(lakes_and_rivers) nat, can you come with...

(nat1999) where you going and what for?

(lakes_and_rivers) hesperia...

(And I think she immediately know what I was doing, since there’s only one reason to be in Hesperia.)

(nat1999) see you outside. also did you hear some dumbass made a book about me?

(lakes_and_rivers) really? is it any good?

(nat1999) i think his name was “bimey moo money” or some shit like that. it was basically doki doki exit music, but after my dad beats the shit out of me, i get put in a foster home with sayori and monika...

(lakes_and_rivers) sounds like the good life.

(nat1999) shut the hell up or you’re on your own to hesperia XD

Well, I need to drive. See you there!


	11. Natsuki and Rivers 1: Night in Hesperia

By 2:30 we were in Hesperia. Rivers smoked some weed to chill and ate all my Funyuns.  
“Fuuuuuck...” I complained. “You owe me a bag of Funyuns,”  
“And you owe Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but you don’t hear me shitting on you for it.”

That’s the truth, though, I do owe Flea. Here’s the story. Basically, I met Flea when he was in LA, we were good friends, and we bet on some shit. I went to the bathroom, and I missed what we were betting on. I fled like a dipshit and never gave him those 100 bucks. We get off the exit.

Rivers started cracking up, and by that I mean breaking down, like I think he’s having another panic attack.  
I try to formulate something nice to say, and I try my best.  
“Get your shit together, dumbass!” I snap. “We have a few dime’s worth of smack to sell.”  
He muttered, “Maybe I should use that for myself.”  
Okay, so if you’re not a drug seller (and if you are, please leave), a dime’s worth is enough heroin to kill somebody.  
But my mind flipped out on me:  
What the fuck, me? Your best friend is having a panic attack, and you flip out at him for something he can’t control. Just like when you forced him to take the fucking Riverside Freeway even though his mom died there. Maybe Papa was right. You are a shit human being who doesn’t deserve life.  
Ok, too deep.  
Just apologize.  
But my mouth refuses, so I stick to further hauling our asses to Northeastern Hesperia, California. Hesperia is actually a pretty small city, so two emotionally disturbed 18-year-olds can navigate this town fairly easily.

The dope spot we agreed to, we’d sell 50 dollars worth with this smackhead was on Santa Fe Avenue.  
We made the deal, and I gave him the stuff. But then he runs off without paying for any of his shit. Rivers, as the violent human being he is, skillfully takes out his butterfly knife and starts chasing him with it.  
He catches up and grabs him, then holds the knife to his throat.  
“Give me the cash, fool!” he quietly utters in his distinguishable Mexican accent. At first, he didn’t comply, but when he pushed the knife closer, he gave him all the 200 dollars he had. He then closes the knife and locks it.  
By then it’s 3:20. The rest of the night involved just a few more deals. We made about 500 dollars total, including the first guy.  
We stop at a McDonalds by around 4. Rivers was feeling sad, and he whimpered quietly to himself.   
Some random-ass comes up to him.  
“Gay ass faggot.” the dude tells him.  
“You best check yourself, bro. For your own safety.” I replied in a low tone of voice.  
“What are you gonna do, bitch? Cry to the world on Instagra—“ the dude retorted.  
Rivers stood up and socked this guy in the face.   
Honestly, this guy is the first guy I know who could hold his own against Rivers. He severely socked him in the face and knocked him over. I jumped in and socked this guy in the throat. I dragged him outside and threw him in the parking lot.  
I went to Rivers.  
“Bro, that was crazy!” I told him. No response.  
I sit down next to him.  
“Dude?” I asked.  
I slapped his face. No response.  
“Shit!” I yelled. I dialed 911.  
If this guy killed my best friend, well, let’s just say my switchblade is gonna be so red and warm.  
The ambulance came through and picked up Rivers. The guy was arrested.

Rivers woke up an hour later, and after the doctor made sure he was okay, we left back to the STP.  
We made it during the wee hours of dawn, and we snuck back in.  
“Where were you guys?” Sayori asked when we snuck in via the window.   
“We were selling weed...” I reply. I didn’t have the heart to tell her what we were really selling.  
“Well, I guess.. but why so early?” she asked.  
“We need money,” Rivers replied before sleeping.

So I just fell asleep.


	12. Yuri is a kinky whore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, no shit.  
> -Natsuki

The five of us hit the In-N-Out for burgers... mmm.. burger.  
Rivers and Natsuki sold weed last night in Rialto, at least that’s what they told me. This whole experience has been kinda hard for me. We didn’t run away from home, since we’re all 18, but I left my city. I left the beach. I left my favorite taco spot. I left... well, I’m kind of an outcast girl, and I really don’t have many friends outside of the Literature Club. Only Monika’s really popular, and I heard she hooked up with Lance Ngo. Lance is one of Rivers’ best friends, and me and Lance have had some... bad blood.   
I don’t plan to stay in Washington. I just want to help Natsuki, after that it’s back to Seal Beach for me.   
Clem was a bit upset, but Rivers calmed her down.  
Good brother. Wish I had that.  
My older half-brother, Kanato, was a bit of a jerk. He would always tease me and call me a shrimp. Eventually, when I was 9, I learned to fight (unlike what you might think, I didn’t take some Japanese class, my Filipino cousin Tania, who was a year older than me, went with me to Garden Grove and let me help her fight people every weekend, so Sayori Delarosa, street fighter master, has entered the building), and when my brother was 14 (and I was 11) I beat the living shit out of him when my parents weren’t home. He was very nice to me ever since. He’s going to college somewhere in Japan. My mom expects me to do the same.   
That dread won’t stop. I might have to leave Rivers. He wants to go to the University of Alaska in Anchorage.  
But I can’t think off that right now. I agreed to drive us to our next break spot: San Luis Obispo, over 200 miles and four and a half hours away.   
After Rivers played his Pinkerton (by Weezer) CD for the tenth time, I switch it to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Rivers pulls out his headphones, and I bet he’s listening to the Pinkerton album in there.  
I remember reading other people’s stories, sometimes I do that to help my poem ideas, but the main thing I listen to is the Red Hot Chili Peppers from the late 90s. That’s when they become a bit less of the horny fuck type and became more introspective. I also listen to some Eminem, but not as much as Nat. I always laugh when I hear about the Red Hot Chili Peppers, because for the longest time that was our nickname, either the Red Hots or the Chili Peppers. The reasoning was this: So back when there was just four of us (me and the three other girls), people thought we were, like, hot or something. But we didn’t go out with anybody, we were “the hard to get girls”, like we were still nerds (we’re a fucking literature club) but, at least according to them, we were hot. Monika was flattered and relished in the admiration. The exception to our Red Hot image was Natsuki, who dated Evan secretly.  
Yuri and I were creeped. These guys are perverts, like, they didn’t care about us and what we do, just our looks.  
So Yuri and I agreed never to date anybody unless they truly cared. I always had feelings for Rivers, but it was a year after that when we started going out (I confessed to him at the Taco Bell). And Yuri has Conrado.   
Speaking of Yuri, I know texting and driving is dangerous, but I text Yuri.

(sayitaintso) hey there!

(nocturnalqueen) oh hi.

(sayitaintso) why didnt you come?

(nocturnalqueen) i just couldn’t, it was too hard.

(sayitaintso) oh come on! washington can’t be bad!

Then she leaves.  
20 minutes later, I get a ping on my phone.  
A text from Yuri the Nocturnal Queen, I wonder what it is.  
I had to pull over to this one, and this is by far the nastiest and worst shit I ever have seen Yuri do.  
He sent Conrado (and me by accident), a picture...  
of her... in her swimsuit... at least, the bottom part. She cut across her wrists and drew a little star on her boob with the blood from her hand.  
“Holy shit!” I yelled as I pulled over.  
I check my phone, and she hasn’t realized she sent it to me.  
She sent another picture. This one was even worse.  
This one had her by her pool in her house, with nothing on, revealing cuts on her stomach and pelvic area.  
Holy shit.  
I look at her arm in this photo.  
CA.  
These letters were cut onto her wrist.  
What the hell? CA? What could that mean? The first thing I think of is California, which doesn’t make sense. Yuri always talks about how much she hates California. Maybe I should text Conrado and ask him abou-  
Wait. Conrado? What’s his last name?  
Sanchez? No, that’s Clem and Rivers’ last name. Atasco? No, that’s my aunt’s last name?  
Alva-Alba...  
Alvarado.  
Conrado Alvarado.  
It was for him.  
For him to jerk off to or some shit like that.  
I’m not mad at him, like I’ve sent, um... like, sexy pictures to Rivers before (and vice versa), like in my red swimsuit and shit (oh damn Sayori, TMI), but this is over the line.  
Here’s my line: if you’re gonna send a hot pic to your dude or girl, don’t hurt yourself while doing it.  
So I bite down and delete the text. Then I get another message from Yuri.

(nocturnalqueen) Holy shit!! Sayori, I am so sorry, that wasn’t for you. Please don’t tell anyoneD:

I don’t respond. Instead I text Conrado.

(sayitaintso) WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

(cheman) you got it too?!

(sayitaintso) yeah, by accident.

(cheman) dude, shes seriously fucked up. i still love her, but i’m scared... and horny, ay ay ay.

(sayitaintso) well if your that sick, go play with yourself...

(cheman) i deleted it. 

(sayitaintso) dude, come to san luis obispo, bring yuri. she needs to be with her friends.

(cheman) i dont know... how do i convince her.

(sayitaintso) just be real.

(cheman) alright, ill do my best to see you there, send me the address! best wishes for you and rivers.

I tell Rivers.  
“Dude, what? How?” he asked.  
I asked the same thing.  
So I dragged our sorry asses two more hours into San Luis Obispo.


	13. Conrado Gets His Very Own Chapter

I’m dating a sick girl.  
I don’t know what to think. Any girl who cuts your initials into her arm is crazy. I drove to her house.  
I saw her in the window.  
Yuri was reading “No Other One” by Keina Riyaba. Supposably, it’s about a young man who is interred into the Yakuza (the Japanese mob) and is forced to kill his family to save his girlfriend. Yuri tells me a lot of her writing inspiration comes from it.   
I enter Yuri’s house.  
“We’re going. Now.” I tell her.  
“Where?” she asks, not even lifting her face from the book.  
“San Luis Obispo, mi reina. Now come on!”  
My Latino side still made me say that middle part.  
I drag her out and into my 2003 Honda Civic. She is really against this.  
“Why?” she asks, “they see me as an outcast... not one of them. They don’t care.”  
That pisses me off, so I lay the truth on her.  
“Doesn’t care?” I ask, raising my voice. “Sayori texted me saying she was scared for you. We’re going, and I don’t give a shit if I have to drag your ass north.”  
She resisted a bit more, but eventually gave in.

I feel stuck, but I buy her some food and I brought us to San Luis Obispo.

I find them at a hotel, where we got three rooms. Mostly because we’re known to be horny fucks, except me and Yuri.  
I can’t think about that.  
I give her bandages to wrap her wounds with.  
I snuck into her house at night and gathered a bag of her stuff, so I gave her the bag and she showered.  
I walked over into Rivers and Sayori’s room. I heard very weird noises. The bed was shaking audibly. Scared, I turn the knob.  
They were....

 

Playing Fortnite!  
They had a gaming laptop, so those three were playing Fortnite.  
Sayori got killed.  
“Dammit.” she giggled.  
Rivers and Clem burst out laughing.  
I was in the room for thirty seconds before they noticed me.  
Clem gave me a big hug, even though I’ve only met her once.  
Rivers says “what’s up?” and then goes to the convenience store for snacks. I say hi to Sayori and then we tag along with Rivers and Clem.   
We walked there, since it was literally across the street.  
I think in my head for a moment. The only reason I know what San Luis Obispo is, is because I heard its about halfway from LA to San Francisco. Speaking of LA, Sayori calls our only friend to still be in L.A., Monika.  
She doesn’t respond. So I invite her back into the group text.

(monika_jackson) what the fuck do you guys want?

(sayitaintso) We’re in San Luis Obispo.

(monika_jackson) really? what for?

(cheman) well, its kinda hard to explain.

(lakes_and_rivers) no it isnt. nat’s dad escaped and we ran from home.

(monika_jackson) holy shit! at first i was salty, but damn, i feel for you guys. anything i can do to help?

(nat1999) you can come with.

(monika_jackson) hell nah

(nat1999) we miss you, please?

(monika_jackson) no.

(sayitaintso) please?

(monika_jackson) NO

(lakes_and_rivers) PLEEZ

(monika_jackson) i’ll see you in about five hours.

I don’t know if Rivers just has really good convincing skills or if Monika has a thing for him, but we’re at the Stop 24, so we pick up stuff.  
Rivers picks up 3 two liter bottles of Mountain Dew Code Red, Cheetos and cupcakes. Then he payed for it. Sayori bought cookies. A lot of cookies. The rest bought random items. I just bought a pound cake. The total was about 100 dollars, so we pooled some money and paid it.   
Then we all went back and chilled in Sayori’s room.  
That’s when Monika pulled up.


	14. Hatchet

 

 

Monika pulled up with some beer and a backpack.

She met us in my room, which is not that big, but it has enough room of the eight of us.

We all watched TV and drank beer.

Then Rivers pulls out his guitar and goes all Mexican on us.

He strums a tune, and Conrado immediately sings the words.

“Ay, ay, ay, ay... canta y no llores, porque cantando se alegran, cielito lindo, los corazones.”. I’m not sure if this song is just programmed into all people on this continent south of San Diego, or just really well-known,

Then I realize what this song is. It’s called “Cielito Lindo”. Supposably, it’s about this guy and this girl.

“De la sierra morena, cielito lindo, viene bajando, un par de ojitos negros, cielito lindo, de contrabando...” he sings.

Nat and Monika know this song too, so they sing it.

I only know the chorus, so I sing it too. The first verse is about this girl who runs down a mountain, and the other guy thinks she’s hot. The second verse is about how this guy gave her a hickey. The third verse is this guy pouting about how he can only see his girl once a week, on Sunday. All of this is perfectly acceptable in Spanish, but when you translate it, it sounds a bit... sexist, doesn’t it?

I’m not upset, though, because Rivers is just being Rivers and singing one of his favorite songs.

But eight drunk high-schoolers singing a Mexican song doesn’t really fly in a hotel. The neighbors knock on our door.

“You fucking beaners need to cut that shit out! Or we’re gonna get you guys kicked out of the damn hotel!” this old white guy yells.

I’m not a violent person by any standard, but people making racist comments about me or my friends throws me over the edge immediately.

“Sir, you need to back the fuck up, or we’re reporting you for harassment.”

“Like hell you are! And what are you guys doing out of school?”

Rivers got ready to punch.

This old guy just socked him in the face.

He ran downstairs.

“If you tell anyone, I will kill you.” this guy muttered.

In the heat of the moment, I ran and pushed this guy off the roof.

Nobody fucks with Rivers. Not now, or ever.

He fell for about a second and I heard a loud splat. Rivers checked on this guy.

“Guys... he’s dead.”

We immediately pack our shit and go. We never wanted to kill a dude. We drive the extra two hours to Salinas.

“Nah, fuck it. We’re one-shotting it to Walla Walla.”

 

Evan was always a hella bold guy.

My mind races 100 miles a second.

 

You killed him. You fucking whore. It’s your fault Rivers is depressed. You should take the hatchet in your

bag and kill yourself with it. Or you should just overdose the antidepressants you keep safe for Rivers so he doesn’t get addicted again. All those.

 

The 1 percent of me is yelling:

 

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. At least keep your shit together for Rivers. He was in danger, you did what you had to do.

 

So I just remember that nobody wants a depressed bitch. So I smile and go to sleep.

When I wake up, we’re not in Walla Walla.

 

 

I wake up to Rivers tapping me violently on the shoulder.

“Wake up! I think someone bad happened.”

He still isn’t the best at English. You know, this isn’t his native language.

“You mean something bad happened?”

“No, someone! Look!”

 

I turn around. I think we’re in Contra Costa County.

Holy shit.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m finna fucking run.  
> ~sayori


	15. I Could Have Lied

Holy shit.  
“I’ll fill in,” Rivers told me, in his cute semi-ruined English.  
He explained to me that supposably Natsuki’s dad was rooming with that old guy we killed. He then trailed our asses for FOUR GODDAMN HOURS from San Luis to Contra Costa, and when we hit this campspot in the Diablo Mountains, he came and he’s got a gun.  
“What the FUCK are you guys doing here?!” Nat’s dad yelled when he found us in the car.  
“Get your asses to the campfire, NOW!”   
So we went to the campfire.  
“We’re fucking heading back to Orange County tomorrow. And when we get back, Natsuki...”   
It was suspenseful. Natsuki sat there with her head hanging down. Conrado and Yuri were talking quietly to each other.  
“Shut the fuck up! I did not allow you to speak!”   
Then he slapped both of them.  
This guy was buff as fuck, so I was scared Rivers met his match. I could tell Rivers was scared of this guy, but his rebellious nature still made him play some Red Hot Chili Peppers.  
“TURN THAT GODAWFUL BULLSHIT OFF, YOU FUCKING BEANER!” Nat’s dad yelled.  
He did, and I wanted to kill this guy so bad. But when you have a skinny Asian girl with tight clothes on and a high buff guy with a pump shotgun, the dude with the boom-boom stick usually wins.  
So I just decided to go to sleep.  
He didn’t object. 

I went in the car, where it was warmer, and I cried for a bit. And then I fell asleep.  
I dreamed about when I was nine. After being released from the mental hospital, I was prescribed this drug called Seroquel, which is an antidepressant.  
I got all these crazy hallucinations from Seroquel. So I flushed that shit down the toilet.  
Rivers knows. He knows what I went through. He doesn’t know what I go through now.  
Then I see a black woman with two red eyes.  
“Take the rope.”  
I respond, “What the shit? No.”  
“You put that shit in your backpack? Use it. The pines are that way.”  
“No! I don’t wanna leave him!”  
“Why do you give a fuck if he dies? Are you that bitch? You think you can afford more of this shit? Are you that rich?”  
“Stop using Eminem two-liners! I’m not! I’m staying strong?”  
“Well, then, I’m gonna kill you.”  
This figure rushes to my throat, and I wake up to Rivers tapping my shoulder.  
“I got a plan.”  
I thought it was gonna be this majestic, skillfully crafted plan.

 

No.  
Very incorrect.  
He cocks the shotgun that he stole from Nat’s dad.  
He grabs a pillow and forces it into Nat’s dad’s mouth until he passes out.  
Then he gets everyone into the car.  
We’re three-quarters of the way to the peak when Nat’s dad wakes up, but we restrain him until we hit the peak.  
We drag him out. He stands up.  
“What the shi-“  
But then Conrado shot him three times in the head.  
We all kinda cheered.  
Except Rivers.

We all went back and had a peaceful sleep.

 

But when we woke up, Rivers was nowhere to be seen.  
“Guys, anyone know where Rivers went?” I asked.  
Nobody knew.  
And that’s when I realized,  
Rivers was high that night.  
He must’ve taken the antidepressants by the handful and smoked weed. Because he was shaking and couldn’t sleep.  
We drove up the mountain to see if Rivers went that way.  
And we eventually did.

 

 

At the very top of the mountain.  
With gunshot wounds to his head and dead.


	16. Only in Dreams

Rivers was dead. I guess he shot himself. He left a note saying how much he hated the world, only loved us, and the time he shot himself. That was around 3:21 am. He brought his boombox and it was playing “Holiday” by Weezer.  
Sayori broke down totally.   
Conrado was yelling.  
“WHAT THE FUCK! WHY?”  
I explained to him this was probably too much for Rivers, and he shot himself...  
BANG!  
When I turn, I get a shitty surprise.  
Sayori killed herself too.  
“WHAT THE ABSOLUTE CHINGADO FUCK!” Conrado yells.  
We all go back and mourn for a few hours. But a few hours isn’t enough. Two of our club members killed themselves.  
We decide to just go to Walla Walla.  
Natsuki and Conrado and Clementine went in one car. Maybe it was becsuse we all got stoned as fuck to forget what happened.  
So we went.   
It was long.  
Very long.

 

So long, in fact, forever.  
Since the last thing I remember was the utter realization of death and Evan flew us all over a bridge.

————————————————————————————————————

That’s it.  
Five of them are dead.  
First, Rivers. Then Sayori with him.   
Then when I finally made it to Walla Walla, I went to the hotel and saw the news.  
Three kids were dead after flying over a bridge in Contra Costa.  
I don’t understand.   
Rivers was the funniest guy ever. Sayori was happiest with him, but he was gone. Monika was, Monika, I guess. Even though she was a whore, we loved her. Yuri, she was hella reclusive, but she was cool in her own ways, I guess. And Evan. The guy who I was with for the last twi years. Who fucking convinced to call the cops on my dad. He’s dead too.  
Clementine doesn’t even know that her brother died.  
“Where’s hermano at?” she asked.  
I didn’t have the heart to explain to her what suicide was and that both Sayori and Rivers committed it.

So we just kept going, I guess.  
Us three.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

———————————————-c/SMASH.CTD SUCCESSFUL———————————  
THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT


	17. Rivers’ Suicide Note

Roja

Una rueda sin madera. Un alacrán sin piernas. Un pez sin agua.   
Un día con mi amigos y mi novia fue lo mejor en mi vida triste.  
Un día que sera siempre feliz nunca venía.  
Y si este mundo nunca me escriba una final feliz.  
Que va a tomar para que puedo acabarlo todo?

Sayori, te amo.  
Dice le a Clementine que yo nunca fue.  
Estoy aqui, en mi espiritu.  
Hasta que respiro mi última respiro.  
Yo realizo.  
La ultima actualización que yo pienso es el dolor de disparar a mi cabeza.  
Pues, hasta luego!


	18. Epilogue

So, hey everyone! This is the Literature Club and Dan Salvato.

This whole story... tricked you up.  
I know for a fact.  
None of us died.  
So you know that story Doki Doki Literature Club?  
We made a semi-sequel, and we turned it into a book.  
So Conrado and everyone is still alive, yay!  
And maybe we’ll see you again in a new book NOT written by Dan Salvato.  
Anyways, bye!

~Rivers, Sayori and the squad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!  
> Sayori and Rivers<3


End file.
